Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
