My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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