I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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