the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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