Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
