It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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