I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
