Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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