You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
