Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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