i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
