from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
