She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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