New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
