So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Randomize
