Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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