I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
