i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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