so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
