he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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