i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
where does the pee come out of this thing
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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