Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Randomize
