Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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