In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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