she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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