I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
