Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Randomize
