Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
