We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
