Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Omg I joined a choir last night...
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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