I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
