i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
