She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
