it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
You are the jesus of drinking
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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