R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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