is your mom at the bar?
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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