I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
