I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
