I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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