Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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