I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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