I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
