bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
