i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
