I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
