plz talk dirty to me
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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