we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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