im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
