I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
