Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
