after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
