My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
