We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
