i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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