dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
