Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
