i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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