Im at strip club and am horny
My nipple is on Facebook.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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