Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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