why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
