if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
