Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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