she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
