I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
