So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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