Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Randomize