...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
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